Post by bubba on Dec 16, 2022 11:20:12 GMT -4
Dr. Michael O'Neil at University Of Connecticut Co-Operative Extension called back to affirm my suspicion that the pair of largest potted plants in the Station's break room are, in fact, Qat plants (Catha edulis). Far be it from me to judge anyone over their horticultural hobbies, but this necessitates a Public Service Announcement due to what transpired on the 23rd of last month.
My co-host Doc Christophoros swigged from a Coca-Cola can, which, unbeknownst to him, had been used as a spittoon by someone chewing on Qat leaves. Now, y’all, Doc got really ill from his hefty swallow of that someone else’s psychoactive saliva. About an hour afterwards, Doc did undergo involuntary sensations of euphoria, elation, alertness, and… arousal.
Doc later reported horrible depression and insomnia. All of this clicked with what I know about Qat and, lickity split, my mind leapt to the break room plants. Identifying their species had niggled at my brain since first noticing’em, yet now I had a need to test my newfound notion with a snipped botanical sample mailed to the UConn Co-Operative Extension’s free plant identification service.
The good science of Co-Operative Extension has exonerated Doc Christophoros to my mind, albeit my own intercrural encounter with Doc on the 23rd will haunt me until my dying day. If you experienced a mortifying encounter with Doc around the Station on the 23rd, then he desperately wants to extend his apologies to you and reassure you of his commitment to a safe, respectful WHPA community space for everyone.
Let us recall the sometimes murky distinction betwixt recreational drug use and recreational drug abuse. Qat abuse can lead to grandiose delusions, paranoia, nightmares, hallucinations, and hyperactivity. Some folks may say these are traits of a cracker jack local reporter. Others might caution these are the traits of a corkboard-and-red-string conspiracy theorist. Let us keep ourselves sober enough for the sake of professional appearances, lest we lose credibility in Fairhaven.
Doc later reported horrible depression and insomnia. All of this clicked with what I know about Qat and, lickity split, my mind leapt to the break room plants. Identifying their species had niggled at my brain since first noticing’em, yet now I had a need to test my newfound notion with a snipped botanical sample mailed to the UConn Co-Operative Extension’s free plant identification service.
The good science of Co-Operative Extension has exonerated Doc Christophoros to my mind, albeit my own intercrural encounter with Doc on the 23rd will haunt me until my dying day. If you experienced a mortifying encounter with Doc around the Station on the 23rd, then he desperately wants to extend his apologies to you and reassure you of his commitment to a safe, respectful WHPA community space for everyone.
Let us recall the sometimes murky distinction betwixt recreational drug use and recreational drug abuse. Qat abuse can lead to grandiose delusions, paranoia, nightmares, hallucinations, and hyperactivity. Some folks may say these are traits of a cracker jack local reporter. Others might caution these are the traits of a corkboard-and-red-string conspiracy theorist. Let us keep ourselves sober enough for the sake of professional appearances, lest we lose credibility in Fairhaven.
Also, do NOT leave out beverage containers used as disgusting spittoons. Flush your nasty drool like your mamma raised you to walk upright.